Cambodian Karaoke

After the temples last week, I had a weekend off from big plans, so not much to report this week. At weekend I went to Pub Street on Friday night, then Saturday I slept in, headed to Common Grounds for dinner, then INTENDED to go and watch the football. Because I’d been eating at Common Grounds, by the time I got my bike back then walked to Pub Street, I arrived just in time for second half. Got a drink. By 47 minutes, a pal turned up and dragged me off to Cambodian karaoke. Promised me we would only be there for an hour or so, and that I could watch the football. No, apparently not. Was there for ages. It was quite funny, but I was the only English person so they didn’t think so. I was so tempted to get up and do a ‘Like a Virgin’, Bridget Jones Thailand prison style. But I gathered that wouldn’t go down too well. Someone did Let It Be, which was sort of funny, but sad how much it wasn’t very good. I was with all lads, so when the girls came in and I was asked to “choose” some, I was obviously like, erm NAH. So grim. The girls were dead pretty too, and practically fighting over talking to me, just because I’m white so they think I’m “beautiful”. Literally, because I am white. It’s the grimmest thing, they’re well pretty! Cambodians also have this thing about my nose too. They always comment on how they like my nose. Which I think is just the weirdest thing. It turns out it’s because they have “flat” noses apparently, and mine is not “flat”. In other words, they’re keen  for big angin’ noses here. I blame my dad. On the plus side, I think I could bag myself a beautiful Cambodian man here, because apparently they go for all white girls with big noses. YAY that’s me.

I’m improving at the orphanage. The first month, if a kid cried, I literally made them cry more. But this week, I stopped two whole kids from crying. Which is pretty flippin’ hard work when you can’t speak their language to find out what is wrong. I dedicate this ability to much drunken-fuelled silly face pulling practise.

It’s getting so much hotter here. Like, it was always hot, but now we’re averaging at about 30 degrees in a day, and it’s raining much less. I miss the rain. Not the Manchester rain, which is grim and cold and never-ending. Just the Cambodian rain, which is nice and lasts 10 minutes and dries up again within 2 minutes. This weekend is apparently raising to an average of about 35 degrees. Good job I’ll be at the beach. Going to some islands to go diving in Gulf of Thailand, which should be just ruddy lovely.

Last but by no means least, I now own Bob Marley pants. My Cambodia travels have officially been a success. CHOW. x

Honour Village, Angkor Wat & co, Halloween and Lingas.

I have been given my first class of my very own at Honour Village (the orphanage/school). Thankfully they gave me the older brighter bunch, most likely acknowledging that children scare the living daylights out of me. I was pretty much thrown in at the deep end. “Sarah, can you help me with class today?” or in Cambodian... “Just kidding, I’m not gonna show up.” I basically just stared at them for a bit, told them “First time being teacher today. I don’t know what I am doing.” Seeing as I don’t know how to teach, and they’re older therefore probably judging my every move, I gathered lesson #1 could be ‘learn to like your teacher’. So we spoke football and animals and plans and family and all sorts. No learning. It turns out I have this alter-ego when I teach, where I manage to be silly and make the kids laugh. Which I’m okay with. They might not be able to know English when I’m done with them, but at least they’ll carry on going to school in the hope that all of their teachers are as helpless and silly as me. They mainly like me because I can’t pronounce the names in the alphabet. I get them now, but they don’t need to know that because then they won’t like me any more. I already have a favourite. Which of course is the youngest and naughtiest. Naughty here has a different meaning. The kids are lovely. All of them. Naughty at home means setting things on fire and carrying weapons and stuff. No, that’s not okay. Naughty here means “what are you doing tonight class?” ... “homework teacher... reading teacher... teaching my little sister English teacher... watching TV and sleeping”. Okay very good Danick. I also told them that if they don’t do their homework, they have to come into class and say “sorry teacher, I did not do my homework, but my favourite football team is Manchester United”, and then it’s okay. I don’t think that is very good. But it keeps Danick entertained. On Thursday he came in yelling “teacher my favourite team is Manchester United” AND he did his homework. I was very impressed. Danick (my favourite) is the youngest. He’s 12. He sits next to Theurng, who is 21 and the oldest. Theurng is probably the smartest, and I found out last week that he works at the airport as a soldier. A SOLDIER in my class. What is this? Anyway, it turns out I quite enjoy teaching/not teaching but pretending to teach. They’re trying to ship off the opposite youngest/don’t-know-a-word-of-English-class to me. I’m trying to avoid it at all costs. I cannot entertain fifty 3-5 year olds.

I have successfully survived half of my South-East Asia travels. I didn’t think I’d make it much further than Bangkok airport 13 hours in, but it turns out I was wrong. I am still alive. I have not been ill. I am happy. I don’t want to come home yet. So that’s good, right? I think 3 months is bang-on fine for me. Especially with the plans of Laos, Thailand and Phnom Penh for the last 2 weeks, which means only 1 month left here. Which is going to go so fast. Anyway, we celebrated by at long-last hitting the temples, which are the only reason people ever seem to come to Cambodia for, and we just happen to live down the road from. It’s been a good weekend. Lots of sun, very hot, long days... yawn. Temples aren’t really up my street, they all looked the same to me. Very nice and interesting, but once I’ve seen one, I’ve seen them all... let alone 3 days of them. Angkor Wat is huge – well, biggest religious building in the world, so it’s not that surprising. Climbed right up to the top, then never wanted to come back down. I’d have happily just slept up there forever. I got all giddy when I saw the monks because I am a loser. They’re about town on motos etc all the time, but seeing them in the temples seemed particularly bizarre. My favourite temple was one called... I don’t know what any of them are called... either way, it was one on Sunday. Just because I climbed to the top and there were about 10 Cambodian kids playing in the grounds at the bottom. I waved at them, they waved back. I clapped, they clapped. I danced, they danced. I shouted random noises, they shouted random noises. It was very cute. This morning we were up at 4am for sunrise, which was very pretty. Better than sunset. Then we went to the further away temples which most tourists don’t bother with, so it was nice ‘coz they were so quiet. “You want to go inside lady? VIP for you. $1.” – Bit of casual police corruption along the way. The last one we went on was a 1500m hike up a mountain, then you come to ‘The River of 1000 Lingas’, with a waterfall. Of course I was just keen for the waterfall, minus the hike. The two girls I went with hike all the time at home (in Canada and the States). Of course, I do not. So I warned them that I would be grumpy. Especially so early in the morning. But I was fine, quite enjoyed it. Got  a good few scratches and bruises from rocks along the way, but I’m okay with it ‘coz I was first in the waterfall without hesitation. I bloody love waterfalls. They’re the best sort of massage.

We went out on Saturday night for Halloween. We made last minute costumes with absolutely zero resources after a very long day at the Temples. In at 7, out by 9, and in the time being made a Ghostbuster backpack out of bottles. Oh, note to self: don’t go out in 30 degree heat to a packed club wearing a poncho. Ew. It was good though. Pub Crawl on Pub Street. In Newcastle, Halloween is the same as any other night. Fancy dress, same places, drunk. But they don’t celebrate it here so it was nice to see people make the effort and a change. Some sick costumes, but they’d clearly bought them with them or paid a fortune. Whilst ours were pretty creative, I obviously did none of the building. Just the drawing. Least creative person, ever. Saw the girls I work at the orphanage with, they were so drunk, so I’ll have to go out with them more often. I am definitely the only one that really drinks out of the guesthouse lot. Which is just awkward. Oh, they’re religious. So I asked one of them whether she thinks I am going to heaven or hell, out of curiosity. I’m going to hell. You move to the other side of the world to do a good deed, and you’re going to hell. Jeewiz.

A gabillion more things have happened too. But I don’t remember what ‘coz I’m always too busy to write them down more often. Bur jfhdhjgjrhkjhg. OH if someone could start up a ‘let’s fund Warrens western life’ fund, I’d be okay with that. I’d be looking much more forward to coming home if I was returning to more than a maxxed out overdraft and no job. So if you do that, I might come back earlier. LOL NO JK I obviously won’t.

BYE xx 

Honour Village, Domreys, Jungle, King Sihanouk, Lop Lop and Blue.

So I started at Honour Village last week. It’s an orphanage which houses 42 children aged 3 – 15. But it’s also an English school for the village kids, so there are actually 420 kids. Nice. I like the place, and the people are lovely. It’s such a nice place to work. But it’s not for me. Lop Lop and Linda are quite enough kids for one Cambodia trip. I have been sitting in on the ‘starter’ classes. They have the most kids, are generally the youngest, and know zero English. Because of their age, it’s all very singy dancey – obviously not up my street unless I’ve had a few Angkors. And of course, I’m a little too sober where work is concerned. They are pretty desperate for another teacher to split the class which I’m currently observing in half, and all eyes are on me. Cracking. We’ll have to just see about that... NGO work is as standard as ever. Sit in an office, find things to do, the co-workers don’t know what I am doing, I don’t know what they are doing. It’s fine.

At weekend I went to Mondulkiri. I stayed in a place called ‘Nature Lodge’ which is like a little forest with lots of individual lodges in the middle of nowhere. So dark at night, and there are just cows and horses and crazy big dogs in your path. It was lovely. Slept under a mosquito net, and Erin woke up with a HUGE dead spider dangling from hers. Thank goodness for the net! It had a nice little restaurant where people sit on the floor with mats and it has little tables and scrabble and cards and dominoes and chess. They even played Arcade Fire, The Beatles, Al Green. I was a happy Woz. In the morning we got were collected by a pick-up truck, and by standard Cambodge rules – if nobody else can fit, squash in 10 more regardless. Crazy dirt-track to the jungle too. Silly non-existant transport rules. Me and Erin were split up from everyone else seeing as it was only us sound enough to bother with the overnight jungle trek. They were just chilling for a few hours with the domreys (elephants). So Minkun (our domrey) took us into the jungle, we stayed in a hut for lunch, showered under a massive waterfall and chilled behind it for a decent hour or so, then headed for a little place by a stream about 6 hours in for food and bed. We stayed in camouflage hammocks with zip-on mossy nets. The kids went out to hunt frogs at the night, so we woke up to them for breki... hmm. Then they went off to find the elephant before we headed for the second waterfall. They clearly don’t do the overnight trek very often. There was no path to the waterfall, so we were literally being thrown from tree to tree for a few hours making our own track... in the middle of nowhere. I’d say it was fun, but it was actually just bloody painful. Anyway, when we reached the waterfall I was first off the edge. They set up a ladder for some peeps to climb down for a swim instead though. They set a fire, we had lunch, then they brought the elephants.. And muddy elephants at that! We bathed them in the water, I was covered from head to toe in mud. Cheers Minkun. Then we headed for a few hours back through the jungle and to the lodge. All in all, a decent weekend. Worth the 12 hour journey there and the 12 hour journey back. Pretty heartbroken I have no pictures of the bathing the elephant. That was my favourite bit. I did give someone a camera, but she was evidently a moron. We were the only ones allowed to bath the elephant ‘coz we had done the overnight trek, so loads of others there got photos of us doing it, but of course I don’t know any of them. Whatever.

So ex-King Sihanouk died. All TV channels (yes, all 13 of them) were completely rescheduled to show only documentaries on his life. All the cafes have been packed with people watching, and there is an official ‘week of mourning’ where people are off work. It’s all they’re talking about. All the tuk tuk drivers on Pub Street (about 50 of them, and loads of other people) left work and watched the live arrival of his body in Phnom Penh on the big screens. Felt a bit awkward being there really. I’ve been asked about 10 times now, “have you heard about our king?” erm... yes, sorry for your loss? Linda cried. Which is a very sad thought.

Lop Lop has been hit by a moto. That sounds horribly grim but there is no other way to put it really. Sadly we don’t know much about it. Erin asked Linda where he had gone because we haven’t seen him for a few days, and she told her she had seen him after he had been hit by a moto and hurt his head, but doesn’t know where he has gone since. Apparently she couldn’t speak much because her “friend” was around, but I’ll find her tomorrow and find out more. I’m sure he’s okay. He’s a little soldier is Lop Lop.

WE HAVE A PUPPY. I came home early from work (I arrived at work at 8am, came home by 9am. No internet. Standard. Promise I grabbed a shower and headed to the internet cafe. Promise) only to find a puppy about 6 weeks old chilling in the guesthouse. I asked Teach where he had come from, “market this morning” – YAYAYAY. He is called Blue and looks just like Alfie and I am so happy. I got really keen and started telling all the staff about how happy I am because I am missing my puppies back home growing up but now it’s okay because we have one the same age here so I’m not missing out so much. Of course I got so keen in fact, that I was rambling and rambling and forgot that they don’t speak English. They looked at me very blankly, but they clearly found it funny how happy I was. I think they found it even more funny when I was so excited that I fell over. Yes I was just running about happy and then I got distracted and fell down.

FIRST NIGHT OUT IN A WEEK TOMORROW. Mental. Would have never managed that at home. Not even had a drink this week. Would have been nice if we had new volunteers. I need a Brit. It turns out we actually do drink more than the rest of the world. I feel like I am forcing them to be out with me. But they’ll have to deal with it because it is my home comfort.

I’m going to sleep now. Note to self: next blog, laugh about the cinema. Oh, the Cambodian cinema. You’ll hear all about it soon enough.

CHOW FOR NOW. xx

Lop Lop, Landmines and Weddings.

I met a little street chap called 'Lop Lop' last night. He didn't actually know his name, which is sad. He was probably about 5 years old. He was quite clearly very poorly, but after begging he took a seat beside us and just watched us with a massive grin on his face. The kids here seem to have so little, I don't think they're actually aware what it is like to be sad because they know no different. Anyway, 'Lop Lop' is "crazy" in Khmer, and seeing as he was a grinning little giddy thing I gathered Lop Lop would do. I was saying it in silly little accents and pulling faces, which he thought was hilarious. Turns out I'm actually quite good with kids. Who would have thought it? Granted, it's kids that don't know what the ruddy nora I am cracking on about, but still. My stupid faces suffice.

Yesterday I went for the worlds best massage ever. Seriously, worth flying over to Cambodge for. $5 for one hour. It's just a mattress on the floor and they just climb all over you. They like use their feet and stuff. It was very bizarre. I'm not entirely sure what I am going to do without them. Anyway, afterwards we got talking to the chap that worked in the shop next door. His name is Dappt, or something and he is 46. We sat and had a drink with him, while he openly without question started talking about when he was in the Army (he had very good english, and for that matter a bizarre amount of knowledge about the world - he knew the population of everywhere) 24 years earlier, before nodding with his head to where his arms once were. He said it was the landmines. He was a very interesting chap. I don't remember whether I mentioned the landmines that killed 6 men in Battambang on sunday evening? As if after all that time landmines are still so prominent. Cambodia is the third most landmined country in the world.

All the older people you speak to here openly talk about the 'Pol Pot regime' and 'the Khmer Rouge' without being. Today at work, Long Sokham was telling us about when he was 5 years old and witnessed his parents and siblings get killed by the Khmer Rouge. Soborint was also the only survivor in his family. They were both then looked after by other families and taught english and sent to school, which explains their good english. Long Sokham was actually just called 'Sokham', but the "Long" family he grew up with gave him the 'Long' name too, which is nice. He still speaks very highly of the chap, and apparently he currently houses 18 homeless children and sends them to school. Their own children are very smart because of learning the language from their fathers at an early age. Soborint had his five year old son in work today. He can say hello, and how are you, his age, his name, and head, shoulders, knees, toes, chest, nose, chin, everything. Much better than what I can manage in any other language as a 22 year old.

Oh also, I thought maybe when I first started I was invited to a wedding. I couldn't quite work it out, but I definitely got invited to something before being asked if I am married, so y'know, put 2 and 2 together. Oh and also no. Of course I'm not bloody married. Anyway, yes it turns out it was a wedding I got invited too. 23rd and 24th November I will be going with the people from work. I'm dead excited, but I don't know what on earth to do/wear/buy them. I like Thida. At first she thought it was sad that I have no boyfriend, but today she decided "many boys in your homeland to choose from for you". Well I'm not quite sure about that Thida, but it's a nice thought.

On monday I will be starting in the afternoons at the orhpanage/school. I went to visit yesterday and the kids are lovely. Of course there were only 40 of them, and as of monday there will be 420. FOURHUNDREDANDTWENTY. The orphanage is really nice. I have a feeling I might start to enjoy that a little bit more than the NGO. Y'know, seeing as it turns out the kids in Cambodge think I'm funny. Confidence boost. It's definitely because I am a massive kid myself. I'm not sure I'll make a good teacher. I got hit by a girl the other day and was absolutely fine with it because she was so cute. Hmm.

OH we have a new volunteer too which means I have a new next door neighbour at the guesthouse. She has already met Oscar and Alfie, because I left Temple Bar early last night just so that I could skype them. Of course when they got home, they heard me still skyping them so I introduced her and Claire. They've heard a LOT about the puppies. In fact they are pretty much all I talk about. APPARENTLY I love Oscar most because I talk about him the most. This is not true.

Ladyboys, Battambang, Batman and Bicycles

Right, where to start. Ladyboy feet rubs. Well, on friday I needed to nip to the markets for a bag and shoes, because all my belongings appear to be breaking on me. And well y'know, who doesn't need bags and shoes? Such a girly shopping trip. But granted I wasn't paying sister Woz type thousands, more along the lines of getting $5 down to $3. Which of course failed, and I left having overpaid for a 'Cambodia' t shirt that I will never wear. Anyway, seeing as I had dragged the girls along with me anyway, we headed for a tapas. $1 for everything on the menu. That includes cocktails. I got my first dessert since I got here. It was nice, but such a shame I was in the mood for banana tart, when in fact all I eat all of the time is Banana. Banana and rice. But not together because that would be disgusting. I mentioned my feet were feeling grim because of too much flip-flop. So one of the 'mexican girls' (why we don't just call them Marie and Maria, I don't know) noticed it was bang-on time for the start of the free ladyboy show at the back of the night market. You can get a $2 foot massage whilst watching it. Perfect. It was funny. 6 of us watching a ladyboy show and having a foot massage. When did that become normal? We did head out for a 'dance' after, but of course whilst everybody else from about the world considers it perfectly normal to go out 'dancing' without the over-indulgence of cheap trebles, I on the other hand was a lost cause. Of course. So a couple of us headed home. Didn't fancy the drink seeing as I had to be up at 5am.

So on saturday, me and Erin went down for breakfast at 6am and were picked up at 06:15 to catch the boat to Battambang. 10 seater minibus... 20 people. Standard. The boat was equally cosy and uncomfortable. But nee bosh, it was only a mere 7 hours long so it wasn't a problem. On a less sarcastic note, it was actually very lovely. We went through not only the floating villages, but the really poor rural floating villages. Kids like 5 out working looking for fish and teaching their younger siblings and stuff. They seemed happy enough all the same. I guess they don't get many tourists there, what with it being y'know... a village in the middle of a remote river (which by the way is only high during the rainy season). So they get dead excited and wave and blow kisses. It was very sweet. As much as I don't like that they have so little money, it seems like an okay little place to be for a kid. They get out a lot and have lots to do. And lots of friends to play in the river with. They seemed happy enough. No doubt they won't be quite so happy when they grow up to realise the craic.

We at long last arrived and went to our hotel. $3.50 for a night, and a very very nice hotel. Nice one. No tuk tuks in sight, we had to wake one up. Very bizarre. Back in Siem Reap you constantly hear "tuk tuk? tuk tuk? tuk tuk? tuk tuk?" forever and ever. You get the point. Anyway, he took us to some temple thing and the 'Crocodil Farm'. I was WELL excited, I got to hold a baby crocodile. I held it twice because it was just so cute. Kathleen on the other hand was frightened to death and threw the poor thing on the floor. Okay maybe not 'threw' but she might as well have! Afterwards we went out to a weird Cambodian BBQ thing. Didn't have a clue what was going on. I still don't know what was going on. Anyway, then we went for a mooch through the seemingly dead little town. Finally came across some sign of life in the form of 4 tiny outdoor cafes with about 10 customers between them. 'The Night Market'. Not to Siem Reaps standards, but whatever. Met what appeared to be the only other 2 westerners in the WORLD so stuck with them for the night. Ended up in some Khmer club. They all seem so quiet and dull from outside, then you open the door and it's mad. Much better than the Pub Street DJ's. And absolutely no westerners. The next day we went on the bamboo train. It went so much faster than I expected. Seriously, just youtube it. Just a random plank of bamboo travelling through a lot of fields in the middle of Battambang. So silly. Then we stop at a village where there are a gabillion overkeen kids making bracelets, bobbles, rings, stars, grasshoppers (fancy that) out of grass. We bought them each a can of 'soda' because they were thirsty and cute and that it just what you do when you see cute thirsty kids. Got the bus back. Arrived back in Siem Reap to find out that 6 men had just been killed by landmines in Battambang.

Work has been much better this week. Found things to do and been going a bit quicker, rather than the previous 10 hour long shifts (which were in fact 4 hours but you wouldn't have known any different). Yesterday I went out to a very nice Indian to meet some other volunteers I had been put in contact with who work at a school/orphanage just on the outskirts of town. I'm going to go to the school/orphanage tomorrow to help out a little bit. Probably become a permanent thing. Time to kill in the afternoons, makes sense. Oh and today after work, me and Claire went to Angkor Childrens Hospital to give them a whole load of fruit, because apparently I'm a good person now. It was actually associated with work, but still, no doubt I'd have done it at some point anyway.

OH Batman, I went out last night and found Batman. Well, he found me. He came over and said "you love me". It turns out I have actually seen him around quite a lot, I just didn't recognise him. I should have known better, he's the one that is always dancing alone up and down the street. Of course I love him. Anyway, he drove us home in the early hours whilst doing his standard "na na na na na na na BATMAN" at every turned corner. He was also randomly shouting "Rolls Royce" (which is the make of his motorbike) and "HAPPY PIZZAAA" (which is most likely the cause for his behaviour). Anyway, he is now my Cambodian boyfriend. (CALM DOWN MUM, not literally, just hypothetically). We saw Linda out too, the usual street kid. She told us she is not going to be working any more after next week, because her 'friend' is making her go "dancing". I'm not sure what this really means, but a 6 year old lad has to go too, so I'd like to think it's just a change of scenery. She seemed most upset at losing her turf. She is easily the best worker on Pub Street. She was upset because she was having a bad night, so I agreed that if she could beat me at playing Snake on my really cool (old-school Nokia) Cambodian phone, I would buy 3 bracelets of her. Of course, she won. Don't really fancy the idea of buying from the street-kids, but it saves her getting in trouble after a bad night. She's a happy enough kid. I think she's actually treated quite well by her "friends". Not sure how long that will last for though.

Bicycles I just put in the title because, well I ride a bicycle to work and to the markets and stuff. That's all really. I haven't been in any sort of collision yet, so I'd doing well. I'll keep you updated though. Oh yeah, I end up shoeless most of the time due to the random road floods. I can't cycle through them, so I take my shoes off and put them in the basket (yes, my bike has a basket) and have to walk through. It's like knee-high. It's pretty disgusting, but no worse than muddy festivals I guess.

Anyway, new volunteers arrive tonight, so I'm going for a nosey. Chow! x

One boat to Battambang please.

I had my favourite day to date on Tuesday. I didn't do anything particularly exciting. It was just a nice standard day living in Cambodia. I got up for work at 7am, went for breakfast, CYCLED to work for my 8am start, internet down so headed to Common Grounds cafe and worked from there, came home for lunch to find the dangly hammock thing free and read a LOT of The Hunger Games, then got persuaded into going out for dinner to a cute little unkown family resteraunt. Which turned into a drink or two. Which turned into another mooch about the Night Markets where we found a few back-street bars, which turned into Pub Street.

The bike had a wobbly wheel and no brakes. Which in theory should have been okay what with the 'don't stop moving' rule over here... but no. It was very scary. I was so happy to see Thida pick me up on her moto the following day. I was hungover too, so cycling really wouldn't have been a very smart shout. Claire cycled into a wall and another car though, which was really smart. It wasn't a big deal. The roads are that silly that nobody even noticed so she carried on.

When we were leaving Pub Street, the youngest of the usual street kids had got hold of a LOT of glitter. From a tourist I imagine. So he spotted me waiting around for the others to come outside and asked me to sit down. It's difficult enough to refuse buying their shitty little bracelets, so I obliged and sat cross legged whilst he covered me from head to toe in glitter. Of course I knew that I had work in 5 hours time, but like I said, I couldn't possibly say no. The boss would have understood if I had had to explain no doubt, but he didn't bother to ask. Probably a language-related barrier as oppose to a lack of curiosity.

Yesterday was just a bit generally hungover and sleepy. I went out for a few drinks in the evening, but very sensibly returned home when I heard the 'Pub Street?' suggestion. One of my regular tuk tuk drivers just happened to be passing as I headed back so I grabbed a lift. When we arrived at the guesthouse all of the dogs ran away, to which he informed me it's because they "don't like him". Turns out it's because he eats dog and they can smell it on him. Very sad. I get the impression it's a sort of manly thing to do. He told me his wife and kids don't, just him. Strange.

Getting a boat out of town (only available during the rainy season. Yes, it is that wet) to Battambang on saturday morning and meeting a couple of the Phnom Penh girls down there for the night, which should be nice. Very traditional typical Khmer town apparently. Few tourists, so that should make a very nice change from Siem Reap. My first weekend with no internet. However will I manage? I never expected to have any at all when I arrived! Of course it's temperamental enough anyway. The whole of Siem Reap blacks out at 10:03pm and 06:00am every day for a few minutes.

Starting from Scratch...

So I have all my travels so far jotted in a book, thinking I'd have very little and irrelevant rubbish to craic on with. It turns out that I love a good ramble - who knew? - and so I have a poorly hand. It makes perfect sense to put it all here. Don't bother to read it. Honestly, I chat such rubbish. It's just evidence when I am old and can't remember what on earth I did with my life.

So day one. Seeing as I was most concerned about the vaccinations and the flying alone above the actual being in Cambodia thing, the flights actually went fine. As standard I got searched at every hand luggage scanny thing. Mainly for having my phone in my pocket. Moron. Anyway, I was very well fed. Watched Marley. Remained as what appeared to be the only person awake. Swapped at Bangkok. Did it again. Then was met by a happy chap and taken to my Phnom Penh accommodation by a tuk tuk. Most exciting moment of my life. Probably not. But I like them a lot. The drunken drivers too. I will get to that later though. The roads are just mental. There appears to be one rule which I think is something along the lines of 'each to their own'. I like it. Less traffic, lots of dodging, the occasional road traffic accident. It is really very simple. So I got to the accommodation, met roommate #1, was fed, slept.

Day two. Day #1 of induction. Learnt about the program, a bit of the language, met the others, found out where I would be and what I would be doing. Then went to the genocide museum (S21) and the Russian markets. Bought a phone so that I had a local number. Then we were treated to a 'welcome dinner' at a resteraunt in the centre of Phnom Penh. First attempt at chopsticks: fail. Met the other volunteers who have been around for a bit longer. They all seemed very lovely, but it didn't really matter as I was soon to be shipped off (not literally, I took a bus) to Siem Reap. Oh, we "went for ice cream" afterwards too. Because it appears that everywhere else in the world does that. Yeah, I found out last night that "going for a pint" is strange. The world is so backwards sometimes. England has it sussed.

Day three. Day #2 of induction. We did nothing of significance. I don't even remember what happened. Except I missed the group exercise because I was definitely asleep. Obviously it is very unlike me to dart up at 7am to engage in a little friendly group exercise (I'm talking star jumps), so I guess it must have been the jetlag. In the afternoon I wished everybody luck with their placements and was sent on my way to Siem Reap. The bus station was a sort of garage with a large old car. 6 hour ride through rural Cambodia. It was boring for the most part, so I slept. I do love a good nap. But was interesting to see the little wooden houses, women carrying heavy things on their heads, kids carrying baskets of crops and men fishing on the flooded roads. Yeah, strange. I was excited to see the roaming cows at first too, but soon got a bit sickened by how horribly skinny they were. The accommodation here is very lovely. I have a pet spider named Dylan. At first we couldn't see eye to eye, but we're growing pretty close. He was so little when we first met, and a few days in he is growing so fast. It's kind of sad and yet equally frightening to witness. The other volunteers here (a group of about 6) asked if us two newcomers would like to join them out for dinner, but I felt grim after the journey, so not tonight thankyou. Early night.

Day four. Went to my NGO and met the people I will be working with. They are very lovely and agreed to pick me up at 07:45 on a moto. We had been told that we would have to cover the cost of getting to placement. But apparently not here, which is nice. Later on I went out with the other volunteers. They knew a tuk tuk driver, so he drives us around for free but we treat him to a night out. He doesn't half take advantage of it too! He drinks a lot and very quickly. I don't blame him. He's a funny character. You can get away with having a drink and driving a tuk tuk here, purely because the roads are so mental anyway. No rules = no difference. Went to the local Cambodian beer gardens first. The tourists aren't really aware of it there, and all the menus are in Khmer, so it was nice to see somewhere real. A massive tower of Angkor beer is $4. Which is just silly. That is a lot of drink and not a lot of money. Then we went to Pub Street. The complete opposite. Full of tourists. It's pretty much a street full of Sinners and Sam Jacks, but cheaper. Very mainstream, but a good laugh. Some locals head out there too which is nice. Not very 'Cambodian' though. You could put that street in the middle of any country and it would be exactly the same.

On day five I had my first day at work, after 3 hours sleep. Probably not my smartest move but whatever. They don't tend to really give you anything to do here. You go into the office, sit at the table, get out your laptop, and find yourself something to do. No orders given, no questions asked. Obviously I was a little clueless, but I soon cracked on with some obvious marketing stuff for the NGO. We have a project starting in October, so in the meantime I'll crack on with the marketing, fund-searching and proposal writing. Looking forward to the project though! The only time I was spoken too was during the moto ride home, which was ironic because it would have been nicer if she could have been watching the road instead. It was worth the scary ride though because she invited me to her wedding in November! Yaaay. Fingers crossed it doesn't clash with Thailand plans. Later that night went to Temple Bar on Pub Street. Khmer Amok - best meal in the world ever ever. They do a good Aspera 'traditional Khmer' dance show too. The dancers were beautiful. Everyone in Cambodia is very beautiful, yet they're so excited about Western visitors. They're very unaware. Modest too. You tell them they speak good english and they refuse to believe you. They really are the nicest people. The others here that have travelled all over have said so too. Had a good night. It's a shame the locals have to go to such touristy areas to get away with things that are taken for granted back home, like PDA and the acceptance of homosexuality and stuff, but it's a step forward I guess. At least there is somewhere for them to go. I'd like to think it will all mellow out soon enough. I fell in LOVE with a drunken tuk tuk driver. He had a Rolls Royce 'batmobile' tuk tuk and was called 'Batman'. Or at least that is what he told me. You know, I believe him. He whole ride home he sang and shouted "vroooom vroooom" as he went very slowly down the very bumpy roads. I won't be happy until I find him again. Oh and he told me he loves me too. I will be bringing him home with me. Him and Dylan.

The next day or whatever, (I have lost track of the days so whatever... this is where it all merges into one big event) or maybe weekend... At some point the volunteers I had met in Phnom Penh journeyed all the way up here to Siem Reap for the weekend, so went to Temple Bar for dinner then for a few drinks. Was nice to see them. Everybody seems to be getting along well with their placements. It seems I came off one of the lucky ones being sent to Siem Reap. They loved it up here and were baffled when I said I'd been out a few times already. Apparently I seem to have settled in very quickly. So that's good. The next day I went to the National Museum while they did the Angkor temples. I was advised to go learn about them first, and seeing as I am here for three months and the temples are down the road from me, I gathered it was a ruddy good shout. Interesting but SO MUCH READING. I was pretty drained afterwards. Few of the Phnom Penh lot came out for dinner to the Cambodian beer garden, then we had a very messy night on Pub Street after a mooch about the night markets. I was told I have a "beautiful nose", which was a first. Who the bloody nora has a "beautiful nose", all noses are ugly pal and no I do not want a massage. OH because earlier that day I had actually been for a massage, otherwise maybe. It was $7 for an hour (I paid the extra for air con, ha!) by a Cambodian blind lady. It was very good. I had a general mooch about the town too. It's so lovely. I could definitely live here. In fact I will live here. With Batman and Dylan.

And now, I think I am still drunk from last night. Thank goodness for King Sihanouk signing that bloody constitution, because work would not have been nice. The end. Until tomorrow. Or some other time. x